I previously tried to set up a meditation routine by trying out a 30 day meditation experiment.
During this period, I was having difficulty centering my mind. I would also have frequent headaches, I would feel very sleepy during the meditations, etc. So I had to stop the experiment after a week.
Recently, what's happening is that I do meditations spontaneously. Whenever I feel calm and relaxed, I just sit down and let go, and usually after 15 minutes, I get a little restless and then I open my eyes.
It's a paradox that meditation is supposed to calm your mind but to meditate effectively you need a calm mind to begin with.
So what's helping me is to do shavasana before meditation. Shavasana or corpse posture in yoga is well known technique for completely relaxing the body. Once your body is relaxed, you can observe your mind easily during meditation.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
Fear and its ramifications - My thoughts
Fear in my experience hasn't helped me at all. People who have used fear to manipulate me have given me the worst in life. I have come out of these experiences becoming fearless and with a new resolve to face fear boldly. The worst thing you can fear is death. I don't fear that - I don't fear anything. It's easy to make the previous statement but difficult to implement it in reality. You have to be clear in life - You are not going to live a fear-based life, your life is going to based on a lack of fear or better, love.
Fear is basically 'false evidence appearing real'. The false evidence is your wrong perception of what is true.
Notice instances of fear in your life - Fear of losing your love, fear of displeasing your boss, fear of being less competitive, fear of being less productive, fear of disease, fear of... The list goes on.
Stop right now and think for a moment how your life would change when in these situations you replace fear by fearlessness and courage. Think of the opportunities you are missing by cringing in fear. If you can't imagine how not fearing would help, try it out. Try courage and being bold the next time you face fear in some situation in life. Look fear eye to eye and it should vanish.
You might ask, all this is nice but what if I lose my job because I was fearless with my boss. Well, you lose your job, you find a new job where fear doesn't have a high place. Also if you are afraid of losing your job, you are still caught up in fear, you are still caught up in 'what-if' scenarios. Let go of fear, try it out in instances that may not have huge repercussions and then you can extend the confidence you gain from these situations in life to any situations.
Live without fear, live in the present, and enjoy life to the fullest, enjoy the uncertainity of life and you would truly have lived life.
Fear is basically 'false evidence appearing real'. The false evidence is your wrong perception of what is true.
Notice instances of fear in your life - Fear of losing your love, fear of displeasing your boss, fear of being less competitive, fear of being less productive, fear of disease, fear of... The list goes on.
Stop right now and think for a moment how your life would change when in these situations you replace fear by fearlessness and courage. Think of the opportunities you are missing by cringing in fear. If you can't imagine how not fearing would help, try it out. Try courage and being bold the next time you face fear in some situation in life. Look fear eye to eye and it should vanish.
You might ask, all this is nice but what if I lose my job because I was fearless with my boss. Well, you lose your job, you find a new job where fear doesn't have a high place. Also if you are afraid of losing your job, you are still caught up in fear, you are still caught up in 'what-if' scenarios. Let go of fear, try it out in instances that may not have huge repercussions and then you can extend the confidence you gain from these situations in life to any situations.
Live without fear, live in the present, and enjoy life to the fullest, enjoy the uncertainity of life and you would truly have lived life.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Some spiritual attitudes
Some spiritual attitudes that I have experienced or read in books so far
1) Be honest: There is nothing like being honest as far as possible. It clear things up, clears up unwanted feelings, clears the road ahead and makes life easier. This is something I have learnt in grad life so far.
2) Respect: Everyone deserves respect. I used to judge people based on their academic achievements and skills when I came here. This attitude has caused me more trouble than anything else. Again, everyone deserves respect no matter their standing, no matter their behavior, no matter their situation.
3) Acceptance: I had a lot of pre-concieved notions of how my life should be. These things are not too bad, it's like having a plan. Only thing, plans can fail. And you got to accept the situation calmly and without resentment or hatred or other negative feelings when things don't go your way. Acceptance of the "here and now" is a very powerful tool, since it can liberate you from worries, from the past misgivings and from future uncertainities. This quality is something that I have grown to appreciate through my experiences in grad school.
4) Giving in your best a.k.a living life to the fullest:
There is a saying my parents and uncle would oft repeat: "When you eat, you eat. When you play, you play. When you work, you work".
The import here is that you giving in your "full mind" in whatever it is that you are currently doing or being. Don't worry about the future as you work over that report. Don't feel guilty for some past action when you are having your food.
This attitude as all other spiritual attitudes "makes life simple".
So doesn't matter how screwed up your life is, doesn't matter if you have been down the shit hole, doesn't matter if things can't get worser (by the way, they always can) - all you got to focus on is "now", "the now", "THE NOW". What are you doing now?
What are you being now?
What do you wish to do now?
Math analogy:
This is similar to the "memoryless property" of the exponential distribution which you encounter in probability.
Usually inter-arrival times of buses at bus-stops are assumed to follow an exponential distribution.
What this means is, it doesn't matter how long you have been waiting at the bus-stop, the probability that the next bus is going to arrive within 5 minutes is always the same!
So give in your best in whatever you do, give in your full mind to whatever task you are working on and that my friend, is "the way to live life to the fullest".
Work hard but do not have expectations on the results is another way of interpreting "acceptance". See my previous post on "Perfection" to know why we should accept the "here and now".
The previous post is basically a summary of the teachings in the "Conversation with God" books written by Neale Donald Walsch.
5)Relax
Is relaxation a spiritual attitude? Relaxation is a by-product of following the above four-attitudes. But if for some reason, you are stuck in life due to circumstance, then relax! There are powerful relaxation techniques available that calm you down from any possible situation you could imagine yourself in.This is a good webpage to know more about a relaxation technique.
My purpose of writing this blog is to truthfully record my spiritual learnings learnt from experiences and also from books so as to serve as a reference for me for the future and also to inspire the readers to get into the act of introspecting their lives and attitudes with the aim of spiritual growth.
A few books I recommend (and have read myself) to get started into spirituality:
1) Conversations with God series by Neale Donald Walsch - Includes Book 1, Book 2, Book 3, Friendship with God, Home with God, Communion with God, etc.
I have read other books in bits and pieces: Eckhart Tolle's "The power of Now", Gary Zukav's "Soul stories", etc.
This is a very revealing video that I came across thanks to Erin Pavalina.
1) Be honest: There is nothing like being honest as far as possible. It clear things up, clears up unwanted feelings, clears the road ahead and makes life easier. This is something I have learnt in grad life so far.
2) Respect: Everyone deserves respect. I used to judge people based on their academic achievements and skills when I came here. This attitude has caused me more trouble than anything else. Again, everyone deserves respect no matter their standing, no matter their behavior, no matter their situation.
3) Acceptance: I had a lot of pre-concieved notions of how my life should be. These things are not too bad, it's like having a plan. Only thing, plans can fail. And you got to accept the situation calmly and without resentment or hatred or other negative feelings when things don't go your way. Acceptance of the "here and now" is a very powerful tool, since it can liberate you from worries, from the past misgivings and from future uncertainities. This quality is something that I have grown to appreciate through my experiences in grad school.
4) Giving in your best a.k.a living life to the fullest:
There is a saying my parents and uncle would oft repeat: "When you eat, you eat. When you play, you play. When you work, you work".
The import here is that you giving in your "full mind" in whatever it is that you are currently doing or being. Don't worry about the future as you work over that report. Don't feel guilty for some past action when you are having your food.
This attitude as all other spiritual attitudes "makes life simple".
So doesn't matter how screwed up your life is, doesn't matter if you have been down the shit hole, doesn't matter if things can't get worser (by the way, they always can) - all you got to focus on is "now", "the now", "THE NOW". What are you doing now?
What are you being now?
What do you wish to do now?
Math analogy:
This is similar to the "memoryless property" of the exponential distribution which you encounter in probability.
Usually inter-arrival times of buses at bus-stops are assumed to follow an exponential distribution.
What this means is, it doesn't matter how long you have been waiting at the bus-stop, the probability that the next bus is going to arrive within 5 minutes is always the same!
So give in your best in whatever you do, give in your full mind to whatever task you are working on and that my friend, is "the way to live life to the fullest".
Work hard but do not have expectations on the results is another way of interpreting "acceptance". See my previous post on "Perfection" to know why we should accept the "here and now".
The previous post is basically a summary of the teachings in the "Conversation with God" books written by Neale Donald Walsch.
5)Relax
Is relaxation a spiritual attitude? Relaxation is a by-product of following the above four-attitudes. But if for some reason, you are stuck in life due to circumstance, then relax! There are powerful relaxation techniques available that calm you down from any possible situation you could imagine yourself in.This is a good webpage to know more about a relaxation technique.
My purpose of writing this blog is to truthfully record my spiritual learnings learnt from experiences and also from books so as to serve as a reference for me for the future and also to inspire the readers to get into the act of introspecting their lives and attitudes with the aim of spiritual growth.
A few books I recommend (and have read myself) to get started into spirituality:
1) Conversations with God series by Neale Donald Walsch - Includes Book 1, Book 2, Book 3, Friendship with God, Home with God, Communion with God, etc.
I have read other books in bits and pieces: Eckhart Tolle's "The power of Now", Gary Zukav's "Soul stories", etc.
This is a very revealing video that I came across thanks to Erin Pavalina.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Interpreting "Things are perfect as they are"
You must have heard of the saying oft repeated: "Things are perfect as they are. Situations are perfect as they are".
The basis for these statements is founded in spirituality and philosophy and I give two interpretations of the "perfect" statement:
1) Who am I?
The first interpretation is based on the definition of the self. Who is the real 'self'. New age spirituality and old age philosophy says that "you are verily the supreme spirit - The Tao, the Brahman, the Atman, The holy spirit, The father, The God, etc". According to this adage, you are no longer limited to the "Ego" or the self that we think we are. In that case, since you are unlimited in nature, the events or occurences in the real world have no bearing on your identity and hence you are "very ok" with any event or outcome that occurs. You are very ok with people's behaviors simply because you don't have any expectation on them and that is again because your sense of identity is independent of their behaviors: You are not insulted by them because 'you' are not 'you the ego', but you are 'you the infinite - you that cannot be tainted or insulted'.
2) Creation philosophy
The creation spirituality has that:
Creation occurs at three levels: Thought, word and deed. There is also another level, the level of being.
According to the creation philosophy, most of whatever we experience in life is due to our creating that experience through thoughts, words or actions.
Since we have created our experience beforehand, the experience should itself be perfect. If it is not perfect, then
we may have mistakenly intended or called forth another experience than we wished to.
Even in this case, since we are the creators of our experience, we can always "recreate" to create a new experience that we like or wish for.
But the problem with the creation argument is that the creation happens at three levels: sub-conscious or the unconscious, conscious and the super-conscious levels.
And people are not usually aware of what they are creating at the super-conscious level or the sub-conscious level. So they create at the conscious level and they assume that things will turn out the way they should. They do except when they conflict with what they are creating at the super-conscious level.
So in both the cases discussed above, things are indeed perfect as they are and as we experience them. In the second case, we may not be aware that we are creating at the super-conscious level. In the first case, we are not aware that we are the "supreme spirit".
But "believing" in the philosophy of "Thou art God" or "We are creative beings" and understanding what that means is sufficient for us to "act as if" things are perfect.
These philosophies give us a basis and act as an incentive for us to practice "perfection" or the adage that "Experiences, events, people's behaviors" are perfect as they are.
When you know that things are perfect, you don't have expectations on the result and hence the saying: "Work towards your goal but do not expect the results to turn out as you expect. That is to say don't have expectations".
When you don't have expectations in life, you "accept" with joy and love and peace, what you get. Isn't this a beautiful way of living life? Indeed this way of living life is a path to mastery - mastery of the self and experiencing who you really are (refer to 1)).
The basis for these statements is founded in spirituality and philosophy and I give two interpretations of the "perfect" statement:
1) Who am I?
The first interpretation is based on the definition of the self. Who is the real 'self'. New age spirituality and old age philosophy says that "you are verily the supreme spirit - The Tao, the Brahman, the Atman, The holy spirit, The father, The God, etc". According to this adage, you are no longer limited to the "Ego" or the self that we think we are. In that case, since you are unlimited in nature, the events or occurences in the real world have no bearing on your identity and hence you are "very ok" with any event or outcome that occurs. You are very ok with people's behaviors simply because you don't have any expectation on them and that is again because your sense of identity is independent of their behaviors: You are not insulted by them because 'you' are not 'you the ego', but you are 'you the infinite - you that cannot be tainted or insulted'.
2) Creation philosophy
The creation spirituality has that:
Creation occurs at three levels: Thought, word and deed. There is also another level, the level of being.
According to the creation philosophy, most of whatever we experience in life is due to our creating that experience through thoughts, words or actions.
Since we have created our experience beforehand, the experience should itself be perfect. If it is not perfect, then
we may have mistakenly intended or called forth another experience than we wished to.
Even in this case, since we are the creators of our experience, we can always "recreate" to create a new experience that we like or wish for.
But the problem with the creation argument is that the creation happens at three levels: sub-conscious or the unconscious, conscious and the super-conscious levels.
And people are not usually aware of what they are creating at the super-conscious level or the sub-conscious level. So they create at the conscious level and they assume that things will turn out the way they should. They do except when they conflict with what they are creating at the super-conscious level.
So in both the cases discussed above, things are indeed perfect as they are and as we experience them. In the second case, we may not be aware that we are creating at the super-conscious level. In the first case, we are not aware that we are the "supreme spirit".
But "believing" in the philosophy of "Thou art God" or "We are creative beings" and understanding what that means is sufficient for us to "act as if" things are perfect.
These philosophies give us a basis and act as an incentive for us to practice "perfection" or the adage that "Experiences, events, people's behaviors" are perfect as they are.
When you know that things are perfect, you don't have expectations on the result and hence the saying: "Work towards your goal but do not expect the results to turn out as you expect. That is to say don't have expectations".
When you don't have expectations in life, you "accept" with joy and love and peace, what you get. Isn't this a beautiful way of living life? Indeed this way of living life is a path to mastery - mastery of the self and experiencing who you really are (refer to 1)).
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
30 day Meditation experiment day 9
2/6/2008
During weekdays, especially when I have classes in the morning like today, its difficult to plan for meditation in the morning. For me mornings are like, I wake up half hour before I catch my bus and have just enough time to shower and brush.
I have 1hr pockets of free time spread out during the day.So today I was flexible about where I meditate. I headed out to the library, found a nice secluded spot and meditated while sitting on the chair.
Duration: I timed my stop watch for 30 minutes, but I felt intensely sleepy after 15 minutes. So I had to cut short my meditation at that point.
Sleep: I managed 5.5 hrs of continuous sleep yesterday with a total duration of 8 hrs (I woke up and slept again).
Miscellaneous:I should mention that I am using a very powerful relaxation technique before I go to sleep every night. It's based on a yoga-asana called "shavasana" or corpse posture.
As can be inferred from the name, in this technique the body becomes completely limp like a corpse and you feel very relaxed since most of the muscles are relaxed.
Note that in shavasana, you can be much more relaxed than when you sleep because in sleep the body changes position quite often leaving pockets of tension in the body at any given time, while in shavasana, you consciously ensure that you have relaxed every or almost every part of your body. Also, there is a total lack of noticeable movement in the body (except for maybe the blinking of the eye) while you are into shavasana.
You can know more about this relaxation technique here. Trust me, it's easy to do and gives you a deep sense of relaxation. Ideally done half-hour before you go to sleep or when you need to take a stress-release break.
During weekdays, especially when I have classes in the morning like today, its difficult to plan for meditation in the morning. For me mornings are like, I wake up half hour before I catch my bus and have just enough time to shower and brush.
I have 1hr pockets of free time spread out during the day.So today I was flexible about where I meditate. I headed out to the library, found a nice secluded spot and meditated while sitting on the chair.
Duration: I timed my stop watch for 30 minutes, but I felt intensely sleepy after 15 minutes. So I had to cut short my meditation at that point.
Sleep: I managed 5.5 hrs of continuous sleep yesterday with a total duration of 8 hrs (I woke up and slept again).
Miscellaneous:I should mention that I am using a very powerful relaxation technique before I go to sleep every night. It's based on a yoga-asana called "shavasana" or corpse posture.
As can be inferred from the name, in this technique the body becomes completely limp like a corpse and you feel very relaxed since most of the muscles are relaxed.
Note that in shavasana, you can be much more relaxed than when you sleep because in sleep the body changes position quite often leaving pockets of tension in the body at any given time, while in shavasana, you consciously ensure that you have relaxed every or almost every part of your body. Also, there is a total lack of noticeable movement in the body (except for maybe the blinking of the eye) while you are into shavasana.
You can know more about this relaxation technique here. Trust me, it's easy to do and gives you a deep sense of relaxation. Ideally done half-hour before you go to sleep or when you need to take a stress-release break.
30 day Meditation experiment day 8
2/5/2008
Duration: 5 minutes. Basically I was tired at the end of the day and hence fell really sleepy after 5 minutes into the meditation. So I had to shift from a lotus position to lying down on the floor till I was refreshed again.
It seems like the best time to have an enjoyable meditation session is right after I wake up or sometime in the morning.
Duration: 5 minutes. Basically I was tired at the end of the day and hence fell really sleepy after 5 minutes into the meditation. So I had to shift from a lotus position to lying down on the floor till I was refreshed again.
It seems like the best time to have an enjoyable meditation session is right after I wake up or sometime in the morning.
Monday, February 04, 2008
30 day Meditation experiment day 7
2/4/2008
Today's session was like a long run. Long run in distance running is a training run where you run longer than usual but take it easy on the pace. (Ofcourse there's no real equivalent to pace in meditation. A close equivalent would be slowing down of the sense of time and being in the now. ;))
Duration: I set my stopwatch for 29 minutes. But after it beeped, I felt like going for another 15 minutes. Only problem was that my right leg was becoming numb in the half-lotus position I was sitting in.
I continued for another 8 minutes before I thought I was done for today.
The first 15 minutes or so, I was trying to come to terms with a few things and hence I wasn't exactly slowing down my mind. But in the latter half, my mind settled down and it was kind of peaceful till the end.
I really am looking forward to my meditation sessions these days. Partly because I find that my meditation sessions are getting better in quality and also because I have come so far (7 days) without a break. If there is one thing I have had a problem with in life, it's consistency. Consistency in work or hobbies (running), etc. But 7 days equals a week and that's good unless it's not(this idiom is borrowed from one of the many books by Neale Donald Walsch titled "Conversations with God" - A really interesting, intellectual and practical book series, but this would be for another blog post).
Meanwhile, I came across a nice blog that guides you in a very intuitive, straightforward and pedagogical way onto what meditation means, its significance and its practice and benefits.
Today's session was like a long run. Long run in distance running is a training run where you run longer than usual but take it easy on the pace. (Ofcourse there's no real equivalent to pace in meditation. A close equivalent would be slowing down of the sense of time and being in the now. ;))
Duration: I set my stopwatch for 29 minutes. But after it beeped, I felt like going for another 15 minutes. Only problem was that my right leg was becoming numb in the half-lotus position I was sitting in.
I continued for another 8 minutes before I thought I was done for today.
The first 15 minutes or so, I was trying to come to terms with a few things and hence I wasn't exactly slowing down my mind. But in the latter half, my mind settled down and it was kind of peaceful till the end.
I really am looking forward to my meditation sessions these days. Partly because I find that my meditation sessions are getting better in quality and also because I have come so far (7 days) without a break. If there is one thing I have had a problem with in life, it's consistency. Consistency in work or hobbies (running), etc. But 7 days equals a week and that's good unless it's not(this idiom is borrowed from one of the many books by Neale Donald Walsch titled "Conversations with God" - A really interesting, intellectual and practical book series, but this would be for another blog post).
Meanwhile, I came across a nice blog that guides you in a very intuitive, straightforward and pedagogical way onto what meditation means, its significance and its practice and benefits.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
30 day Meditation experiment day 6
2/3/2008
Summary: I didn't have a great meditative experience today.
Duration: I did meditation for 22 minutes after bath following suit on yesterday's meditation.
The first 10 minutes felt decent, I mean there were a few thoughts doing the rounds in my mind but it was as peaceful as yesterday. My upper body started rocking back and forth like yesterday but it wasn't as intense and frequent as yesterday. The last 10 minutes of the meditation, my thoughts were going places. So I decided to cut short the meditation at around 22 minutes though I had timed my stopwatch for 25 minutes.
Everyday brings a different meditative experience like life.
I did the meditation in the morning. In the evening, I went out for a 1 mile run that lasted 8.5 minutes. I have to see how these two practices (running and meditation) can be kept up simultaneously and regulary. Regular is a key word here, since any practice would be most beneficial when done in regular intervals.
Diet
I had bread and jam for breakfast, fruits and cookies for lunch!, and some mixed vegetable rice (spicy(note - spicy doesn't necessarily mean hot, some of you Americans have got it all wrong) and tasty food) for dinner. I would probably have some cereals for supper. I guess I have to improve on my diet, especially the breakfast.
Sleep: Yesterday I managed 3 hrs of continuous sleep and then I woke up every 1.5 hrs till I got up after 8 hrs of sleep. Sleeping has been a problem for me since the last 2 months and that's one thing that should change with this experiment.
Summary: I didn't have a great meditative experience today.
Duration: I did meditation for 22 minutes after bath following suit on yesterday's meditation.
The first 10 minutes felt decent, I mean there were a few thoughts doing the rounds in my mind but it was as peaceful as yesterday. My upper body started rocking back and forth like yesterday but it wasn't as intense and frequent as yesterday. The last 10 minutes of the meditation, my thoughts were going places. So I decided to cut short the meditation at around 22 minutes though I had timed my stopwatch for 25 minutes.
Everyday brings a different meditative experience like life.
I did the meditation in the morning. In the evening, I went out for a 1 mile run that lasted 8.5 minutes. I have to see how these two practices (running and meditation) can be kept up simultaneously and regulary. Regular is a key word here, since any practice would be most beneficial when done in regular intervals.
Diet
I had bread and jam for breakfast, fruits and cookies for lunch!, and some mixed vegetable rice (spicy(note - spicy doesn't necessarily mean hot, some of you Americans have got it all wrong) and tasty food) for dinner. I would probably have some cereals for supper. I guess I have to improve on my diet, especially the breakfast.
Sleep: Yesterday I managed 3 hrs of continuous sleep and then I woke up every 1.5 hrs till I got up after 8 hrs of sleep. Sleeping has been a problem for me since the last 2 months and that's one thing that should change with this experiment.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
30 day Meditation experiment day 5
2/2/2008
Interesting experience: If yesterday and day-before-yesterday, I experienced waves of sleep hitting me, today it was waves of upper body movement during meditation!!!
Deatiled report: I began meditating right after having a bath in the morning, i.e. between 1:05 pm and 1:27pm. Today was a much better experience in terms of mental peace than the last 4 days. That is not to say that I would expect it to be the same or better for the rest of this trial. I have stated this before, I state it again: "It is important not to have any expectations on your meditation. Receive humbly whatever you get.". I didn't feel any kind of sleepiness during the meditation today. Infact, I felt very relaxed, alive and peaceful and it felt good that I smiled as I meditated.
Posture: I was in the lotus posture with my hands in "Chin Mudra (index finger touching the tip of the thumb and other fingers straight)".
During the last few minutes of the meditation, my upper body and head started rocking gently back and forth. The rocking motion was involuntary and I wasn't contributing anything to it. The rocking motion subsided for a minute but increased in frequency during the last few minutes. Infact, it was reaching its peak as my stop-watch started beeping (I set the alarm for 23 minutes after I began meditating).
Even after I opened my eyes, my upper body was still rocking back and forth a bit.
I banished all fear of this strange experience and would have continued with the meditation if not for the stop watch!
Other points: I began the meditation with a prayer and terminated it with a prayer. The prayer is to the universal spirit for a smooth meditation experience and for the peace of the world.
Interesting experience: If yesterday and day-before-yesterday, I experienced waves of sleep hitting me, today it was waves of upper body movement during meditation!!!
Deatiled report: I began meditating right after having a bath in the morning, i.e. between 1:05 pm and 1:27pm. Today was a much better experience in terms of mental peace than the last 4 days. That is not to say that I would expect it to be the same or better for the rest of this trial. I have stated this before, I state it again: "It is important not to have any expectations on your meditation. Receive humbly whatever you get.". I didn't feel any kind of sleepiness during the meditation today. Infact, I felt very relaxed, alive and peaceful and it felt good that I smiled as I meditated.
Posture: I was in the lotus posture with my hands in "Chin Mudra (index finger touching the tip of the thumb and other fingers straight)".
During the last few minutes of the meditation, my upper body and head started rocking gently back and forth. The rocking motion was involuntary and I wasn't contributing anything to it. The rocking motion subsided for a minute but increased in frequency during the last few minutes. Infact, it was reaching its peak as my stop-watch started beeping (I set the alarm for 23 minutes after I began meditating).
Even after I opened my eyes, my upper body was still rocking back and forth a bit.
I banished all fear of this strange experience and would have continued with the meditation if not for the stop watch!
Other points: I began the meditation with a prayer and terminated it with a prayer. The prayer is to the universal spirit for a smooth meditation experience and for the peace of the world.
Friday, February 01, 2008
30 day Meditation experiment day 4
2/1/2008
Today I came across a few excellent articles on meditation. It's a great pleasure to know that there are articles that address the difficulties I am facing during meditation - feeling sleepy halfway, mind not calming down, etc.
Anyway, here are the articles: Meditation FAQ,
Meditation II
Today's Time: 6:20 pm - 6:40 pm
I felt sleepy after 10 minutes. Waves of sleep hit me as I meditated. Imagine, waves at a beach hitting your legs as you stand in the sand. It disturbs your stability right, it literally rocks your frame. That's what happens when the waves of sleep hit me. I just rock back and forth in the action of resisting sleep. During the 20 minutes on the whole, the mental activity slowed down a bit, but not too much. It's important not to have expectations during meditation because
expectations ----> Thoughts related to the expectation --------> Increased mental activity.
After meditation, I did some Pranayama (Anuloma/viloma - Breathing in and out) and then got up. This seems similar to warming down/cooling down after running (I am a runner remember, so running analogies r there).
After I got up from my half-lotus posture to sit on my desk, I suddenly noticed that my back was straighter than before and it felt good. So here's an immediate benefit:
Meditation sets your posture right while sitting in a chair.
I am signing off here today and looking forward to tomorrow's meditation.
Today I came across a few excellent articles on meditation. It's a great pleasure to know that there are articles that address the difficulties I am facing during meditation - feeling sleepy halfway, mind not calming down, etc.
Anyway, here are the articles: Meditation FAQ,
Meditation II
Today's Time: 6:20 pm - 6:40 pm
I felt sleepy after 10 minutes. Waves of sleep hit me as I meditated. Imagine, waves at a beach hitting your legs as you stand in the sand. It disturbs your stability right, it literally rocks your frame. That's what happens when the waves of sleep hit me. I just rock back and forth in the action of resisting sleep. During the 20 minutes on the whole, the mental activity slowed down a bit, but not too much. It's important not to have expectations during meditation because
expectations ----> Thoughts related to the expectation --------> Increased mental activity.
After meditation, I did some Pranayama (Anuloma/viloma - Breathing in and out) and then got up. This seems similar to warming down/cooling down after running (I am a runner remember, so running analogies r there).
After I got up from my half-lotus posture to sit on my desk, I suddenly noticed that my back was straighter than before and it felt good. So here's an immediate benefit:
Meditation sets your posture right while sitting in a chair.
I am signing off here today and looking forward to tomorrow's meditation.
30 day Meditation experiment day 3
1/31/2008
Today I meditated from 8:00 to 8:10 pm. I had to catch a bus to go the department in 10 minutes so I cut the meditation short. I wasn't having the waves of sleepiness I had yesterday, but I felt rested during the last 5 minutes. It's too early to decide the effects of meditation at this stage.
I am a beginner in meditation but I have had tried unsuccessfully to establish a meditation routine before.
This is the main reason why I am blogging my meditation experience: So that I keep up my practice under the public eye :D
Let's see how tomorrow goes. Btw, I am also a runner, I haven't run in a week, so I have to see if I can run this weekend. I don't think running will take time away from meditation as I can always meditate before I wish to sleep and generally that will make me sleepier and hence I can easily fall asleep.
Today I meditated from 8:00 to 8:10 pm. I had to catch a bus to go the department in 10 minutes so I cut the meditation short. I wasn't having the waves of sleepiness I had yesterday, but I felt rested during the last 5 minutes. It's too early to decide the effects of meditation at this stage.
I am a beginner in meditation but I have had tried unsuccessfully to establish a meditation routine before.
This is the main reason why I am blogging my meditation experience: So that I keep up my practice under the public eye :D
Let's see how tomorrow goes. Btw, I am also a runner, I haven't run in a week, so I have to see if I can run this weekend. I don't think running will take time away from meditation as I can always meditate before I wish to sleep and generally that will make me sleepier and hence I can easily fall asleep.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
30 day Meditation experiment day 2
Date: 1/30/2008
Method: Today I was too impatient with the auto-suggestive relaxation technique and went ahead with observation meditation at 5:30 pm. Five minutes in, I was feeling very very sleepy, it was like every 15 seconds a wave of sleep was hitting me. After a minute of the sleep waves, I just laid down on the ground. I relaxed deeply and observed my mind and the thoughts for about 20 minutes (its easier to lie down and meditate than sit down and meditate since sitting down you got to keep your position erect). It felt good at the end and strangely I didn't catch any sleep though I felt very passive and sedentary.
Sleep: Yesterday I slept for 6.5 hrs though I intended to sleep only for 5 hrs since I had an assignment due today. The quality of sleep wasn't any different - Many dreams in the sleep.
I generally sleep between 1 am to 8 am.
Diet: I have been on the same diet for the past two weeks: Bread and jam morning, veggie delite sub from subway for lunch, a litre of juice in the evening with some bananas and cereals/chappatis during the night.
Method: Today I was too impatient with the auto-suggestive relaxation technique and went ahead with observation meditation at 5:30 pm. Five minutes in, I was feeling very very sleepy, it was like every 15 seconds a wave of sleep was hitting me. After a minute of the sleep waves, I just laid down on the ground. I relaxed deeply and observed my mind and the thoughts for about 20 minutes (its easier to lie down and meditate than sit down and meditate since sitting down you got to keep your position erect). It felt good at the end and strangely I didn't catch any sleep though I felt very passive and sedentary.
Sleep: Yesterday I slept for 6.5 hrs though I intended to sleep only for 5 hrs since I had an assignment due today. The quality of sleep wasn't any different - Many dreams in the sleep.
I generally sleep between 1 am to 8 am.
Diet: I have been on the same diet for the past two weeks: Bread and jam morning, veggie delite sub from subway for lunch, a litre of juice in the evening with some bananas and cereals/chappatis during the night.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
30 day Meditation experiment day 1
Date: 1/29/2008
Today is the first day of meditation.
Method: I did auto-suggestive relaxation of my body to quieten my body and consequently the mind. Having done that I observed my thoughts silently for around 5 minutes.
9:06pm - 9:16pm (10 minutes) - Autosuggestive relaxation
9:16pm - 9:22pm (6 minutes) - Observation meditation.
Noticeable effects: Well today is the first day, so nothing to document yet.
But I did feel much more relaxed midway through the auto-suggestive relaxation. But after that, the mental activity was the same through the end of the meditation period.
Today is the first day of meditation.
Method: I did auto-suggestive relaxation of my body to quieten my body and consequently the mind. Having done that I observed my thoughts silently for around 5 minutes.
9:06pm - 9:16pm (10 minutes) - Autosuggestive relaxation
9:16pm - 9:22pm (6 minutes) - Observation meditation.
Noticeable effects: Well today is the first day, so nothing to document yet.
But I did feel much more relaxed midway through the auto-suggestive relaxation. But after that, the mental activity was the same through the end of the meditation period.
30 day Meditation experiment
In this blog series, I will document the effects (mostly qualitative) of a meditation experiment on my physical and mental well-being. I will also document the duration and quality of sleep on each day.
The meditation technique I am using consists of two parts:
a) Auto-suggestive relaxation : This is a relaxation technique where one relaxes every organ of the body by mentally focusing on the organs of the body and relaxing them. One needs to try this technique out to understand how it works.
b) Observation meditation: In this meditation, no mantra is used, actually nothing needs to be done. All I do is observe my thoughts non-judgementally and accept them irrespective of how good or bad they seem. I also don't participate with the thoughts. I just act as external observer.
Posture: I usually sit in padmasana (lotus posture) with spine erect. I sit on the ground on top of a folded sleeping bag.
Duration: For this experiment I will start with a duration of around 15 minutes and go upto 30 - 45 minutes by the end of 30 days. The duration for most part on any given day would depend on how long I am comfortable with the meditation. This duration, I have noticed, increases as one meditates regularly.
Time: I am a graduate student with loaded course work, so right now I am flexible with when I meditate. But if possible, I would like to do it at a particular time during the day, preferrably after waking up in the morning.
Miscellaneous:
I am also a runner, so that is already a beneficial thing as far as physical/mental well-being is concerned. Ideally, meditation effects are studied by having a placebo group and a treatment group with similar characterisitcs. In this case, the sample size is 1, that is me!!
Diet: I am a vegetarian and include a lot of fruits, vegetables and bread in my diet.
Last but not the least,
Why Meditation?
For me life in the recent 1.5 years has been a total roller coaster. As mentioned in my 'about me', I am a Phd student in Transportation Engineering and I came to the US in 2006 with great expectations (not the book :D). I was really into research the last 6 months before coming here and I expected my research in a US university to match up equally to what I had done in India. Sadly, my expectations were dashed since I landed an inexperienced advisor with whom I didn't have great relations from the beginning. I was bossed around ocassionally and didn't like it (ofcourse the university is a really great resource in terms of books and people, just that having an amicable relationship with your advisor goes a long way towards productive research). Unfortunately I didn't think rationally about my other options. During this ensuing period which has lasted 1 year, I have had a lot of depressive periods and lots of experiences, so much so that I am no longer the person I was 1.5 years back. Back then I had a lot of expectations of the world, but now I am learning and possibly relearning the truth, "Having no expectations on people's behavior or life in general" would lead to very enjoyable or atleast more peaceful life. There's another truth that I am comprehending currently, "Nothing matters". That's right. The second truth follows from the first truth. When you have no expectations on people or events, you are ready to accept whatever life brings you, and hence nothing matters.
All this history is great you say, but why meditation specifically? Well, I have
learnt meditation in India during a spiritual workshop not unlike the many workshops that happen in US on a regular basis. The workshop was expensive but it gave me many important relaxation and spiritual exploration tools: a) Pranayama (breathing techniques) b) Different meditation techniques.
I am using one of these meditative techniques in my meditation experiment.
And these meditation techniques are purported to bring about a much needed balance to people(I am one of those people) who take a lot of stress. And I am not just stating this as an axiom, that's one of the purposes of this blog series isn't it: To answer the following questions:
a)Do these meditation techniques actually enhance the quality of life (we are not talking about material riches here although that could be considered a side-effect or side-benefit) - physically, intellectually, mentally and spiritually? Now what do we mean by spiritually here - Spirituality has to do with discovering one's true self and it is said that becoming more spiritual is consistent with an enhanced quality of life - an equanimous state of mind or reduction in mental noise, which is a product of the wandering and untamed mind, clarity in thinking and decision making, etc - You can put all the benefits of personal development into this category.
b) What experiences come about through meditation(Read here to know about my upper body movement experience during meditation) ?
c) How does the quality of sleep change with meditation? The last 2 months I haven't had a single night were I could say I slept deeply and soundly. Hopefully, this should change through this experiment.
d) How do the different meditation techniques compare with each other in their effectiveness? The current meditation technique I am using for the experiment is the "Observation Meditation Technique" described above.
Other meditation techniques I learnt at the workshop in India are:
Gap meditation:
In this technique one observes the gaps between thoughts and tries to increase the gap. So if I observe that on an average a thought pings my mind every second, I try to reduce this frequency or in other words, I increase the duration of the gap between thoughts and in effect aim towards a mental state with very few thoughts.
Ana pana sathi or observing your breath
This meditation technique is very popular among beginners in meditation. All one has to do in this technique is to observe the movement of breath. As the air moves in and out of your nostrils, you observe its flow and forget about the mind and its wanderings for the time being. The theory here is that, every state of mind has a corresponding state of breath. For instance: When you are angry or frustrated, notice your breath; you would be breathing in short, quick bursts. On the other hand, when you are really relaxed and peaceful, you would be breathing in deep and slow.
So I guess I have given enough background into the significance of this experiment atleast for myself (and hopefully for you guys too); now with the grace of the supreme being(Brahman, Tao, chi, or any personal diety) I hope this experiment turns out to be a personal success and of benefit to the readers of this blog.
The meditation technique I am using consists of two parts:
a) Auto-suggestive relaxation : This is a relaxation technique where one relaxes every organ of the body by mentally focusing on the organs of the body and relaxing them. One needs to try this technique out to understand how it works.
b) Observation meditation: In this meditation, no mantra is used, actually nothing needs to be done. All I do is observe my thoughts non-judgementally and accept them irrespective of how good or bad they seem. I also don't participate with the thoughts. I just act as external observer.
Posture: I usually sit in padmasana (lotus posture) with spine erect. I sit on the ground on top of a folded sleeping bag.
Duration: For this experiment I will start with a duration of around 15 minutes and go upto 30 - 45 minutes by the end of 30 days. The duration for most part on any given day would depend on how long I am comfortable with the meditation. This duration, I have noticed, increases as one meditates regularly.
Time: I am a graduate student with loaded course work, so right now I am flexible with when I meditate. But if possible, I would like to do it at a particular time during the day, preferrably after waking up in the morning.
Miscellaneous:
I am also a runner, so that is already a beneficial thing as far as physical/mental well-being is concerned. Ideally, meditation effects are studied by having a placebo group and a treatment group with similar characterisitcs. In this case, the sample size is 1, that is me!!
Diet: I am a vegetarian and include a lot of fruits, vegetables and bread in my diet.
Last but not the least,
Why Meditation?
For me life in the recent 1.5 years has been a total roller coaster. As mentioned in my 'about me', I am a Phd student in Transportation Engineering and I came to the US in 2006 with great expectations (not the book :D). I was really into research the last 6 months before coming here and I expected my research in a US university to match up equally to what I had done in India. Sadly, my expectations were dashed since I landed an inexperienced advisor with whom I didn't have great relations from the beginning. I was bossed around ocassionally and didn't like it (ofcourse the university is a really great resource in terms of books and people, just that having an amicable relationship with your advisor goes a long way towards productive research). Unfortunately I didn't think rationally about my other options. During this ensuing period which has lasted 1 year, I have had a lot of depressive periods and lots of experiences, so much so that I am no longer the person I was 1.5 years back. Back then I had a lot of expectations of the world, but now I am learning and possibly relearning the truth, "Having no expectations on people's behavior or life in general" would lead to very enjoyable or atleast more peaceful life. There's another truth that I am comprehending currently, "Nothing matters". That's right. The second truth follows from the first truth. When you have no expectations on people or events, you are ready to accept whatever life brings you, and hence nothing matters.
All this history is great you say, but why meditation specifically? Well, I have
learnt meditation in India during a spiritual workshop not unlike the many workshops that happen in US on a regular basis. The workshop was expensive but it gave me many important relaxation and spiritual exploration tools: a) Pranayama (breathing techniques) b) Different meditation techniques.
I am using one of these meditative techniques in my meditation experiment.
And these meditation techniques are purported to bring about a much needed balance to people(I am one of those people) who take a lot of stress. And I am not just stating this as an axiom, that's one of the purposes of this blog series isn't it: To answer the following questions:
a)Do these meditation techniques actually enhance the quality of life (we are not talking about material riches here although that could be considered a side-effect or side-benefit) - physically, intellectually, mentally and spiritually? Now what do we mean by spiritually here - Spirituality has to do with discovering one's true self and it is said that becoming more spiritual is consistent with an enhanced quality of life - an equanimous state of mind or reduction in mental noise, which is a product of the wandering and untamed mind, clarity in thinking and decision making, etc - You can put all the benefits of personal development into this category.
b) What experiences come about through meditation(Read here to know about my upper body movement experience during meditation) ?
c) How does the quality of sleep change with meditation? The last 2 months I haven't had a single night were I could say I slept deeply and soundly. Hopefully, this should change through this experiment.
d) How do the different meditation techniques compare with each other in their effectiveness? The current meditation technique I am using for the experiment is the "Observation Meditation Technique" described above.
Other meditation techniques I learnt at the workshop in India are:
Gap meditation:
In this technique one observes the gaps between thoughts and tries to increase the gap. So if I observe that on an average a thought pings my mind every second, I try to reduce this frequency or in other words, I increase the duration of the gap between thoughts and in effect aim towards a mental state with very few thoughts.
Ana pana sathi or observing your breath
This meditation technique is very popular among beginners in meditation. All one has to do in this technique is to observe the movement of breath. As the air moves in and out of your nostrils, you observe its flow and forget about the mind and its wanderings for the time being. The theory here is that, every state of mind has a corresponding state of breath. For instance: When you are angry or frustrated, notice your breath; you would be breathing in short, quick bursts. On the other hand, when you are really relaxed and peaceful, you would be breathing in deep and slow.
So I guess I have given enough background into the significance of this experiment atleast for myself (and hopefully for you guys too); now with the grace of the supreme being(Brahman, Tao, chi, or any personal diety) I hope this experiment turns out to be a personal success and of benefit to the readers of this blog.
Friday, December 28, 2007
First impressions - "Spontaneous healing"
First impressions hereon will be a blog that would give my first impressions on any book I am reading/have read.
I came across the book "Spontaneous Healing" at Twice sold Tales, a second hand bookshop in Seattle. The first three chapters were gripping and discussed the importance of belief and faith in healing.
The book describes the author's journey for alternative medicinal practices that serve to treat the root cause of a disease rather than the sometimes superficial symptoms shown by a patient.
A wonderful account of the healings through "Osteopathy" is described. The medicinal benefits of herbal plants such as Gingko Bilaba and Bloody root are also given through many testimonials. The author mentions that testimonials are usually dismissed by the so-called modern allopathists because endorsing them could get them into trouble. But the author takes pains to explain that his exploration of the truth behind these testimonials have helped many of his patients (For instance, Bloody root being very helpful for benign/malignant moles that develop on skins).
Most of the case-studies presented are spontaneous remissions in cancer affected patients. This is something also discussed by Deepak Chopra in his book "Quantum Healing". Review of this book in a later blog.
The theme in both these books is that there are many cancer cases that are dismissed by doctors as untreatable, that is the cancer has become so deep-rooted in the organs of the patient's body that nothing short of a miracle can heal the patient. The books go onto say that when these miracles do happen, doctors dismiss them as rare cases. The two books emphasize that these so-called miraculous cases need to be investigated thoroughly because modern allopathic medicine fails to include one important component that is the basis of many alternative medicinal systems - Faith and belief of the patient in a cure and the body's ability to heal itself.
I came across the book "Spontaneous Healing" at Twice sold Tales, a second hand bookshop in Seattle. The first three chapters were gripping and discussed the importance of belief and faith in healing.
The book describes the author's journey for alternative medicinal practices that serve to treat the root cause of a disease rather than the sometimes superficial symptoms shown by a patient.
A wonderful account of the healings through "Osteopathy" is described. The medicinal benefits of herbal plants such as Gingko Bilaba and Bloody root are also given through many testimonials. The author mentions that testimonials are usually dismissed by the so-called modern allopathists because endorsing them could get them into trouble. But the author takes pains to explain that his exploration of the truth behind these testimonials have helped many of his patients (For instance, Bloody root being very helpful for benign/malignant moles that develop on skins).
Most of the case-studies presented are spontaneous remissions in cancer affected patients. This is something also discussed by Deepak Chopra in his book "Quantum Healing". Review of this book in a later blog.
The theme in both these books is that there are many cancer cases that are dismissed by doctors as untreatable, that is the cancer has become so deep-rooted in the organs of the patient's body that nothing short of a miracle can heal the patient. The books go onto say that when these miracles do happen, doctors dismiss them as rare cases. The two books emphasize that these so-called miraculous cases need to be investigated thoroughly because modern allopathic medicine fails to include one important component that is the basis of many alternative medicinal systems - Faith and belief of the patient in a cure and the body's ability to heal itself.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi
I read this book partially back in college. Heavy with philosophy but great with insights.
Got this book again now. Gonna read it over the next 3-4 months and see how the experience is.
Got this book again now. Gonna read it over the next 3-4 months and see how the experience is.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Lessons learnt over the past one year
I have been a graduate student for around one year. I have learnt a lot of lessons over the past one year, that I wish to document some place and this is that right place:)
The lessons I have learnt are both academic and personal in nature. The lessons learnt are as much about success in life as much about happiness in life. [Note the two are not necessarily correlated].
1) I came here with a great motivation. I wished to do a phd in 3 years, make a mark in the academic community, and ofcourse publish a lot of papers.
2) While I had the desire to work at the level required to attain the goal mentioned in the previous point, I didn't have the perseverance required to do the same. You got to be able to go everyday to the lab and plug in 8 hrs and hope that you get atleast 4 hrs worth of work done. This is something I had to learn the hard way. I was used to work in the bursts, and the bursts occuring as the deadlines approached closeby.
3) I had learnt that research is what you wish to do. Its not what your advisor directs you to do and you just execute the same. No, its more of a process of becoming an independent researcher, needing minimal guidance from your advisor. Its a process where you become more confident in your committment to work, perseverance, dedication to work and skills in time management. Yep, time-management would sum it all up. Drawing up 3-4 goals for the day and executing as many of them as possible is the way.
4) Your advisor is your biggest asset while you are in graduate school. Make sure you are in good, nay really good terms with the advisor, even if you don't think that's required. The academic community is a small world, my dear, and realationships matter here more than in the real world(read: jobs, personal life, etc).
5) When in doubt, be honest and when in doubt again, be nice to people. Being nice is the first thing people expect from you and its easier to get around with that attitude.
6) Honesty is the best policy is something I learnt while I was a kid in school. I am relearning the same through my experiences in life.
7) There are several aspects to our personality: The physical, intellectual, mental, psychological, emotional, etc. It is not good at all to neglect any one part of your personality. When you are hitting rock bottom, your way out is made easier if the aspects of your personality are well balanced. Infact, you wouldn't hit rock bottom unless there is an imbalance in your personality.
8) Be modest. It doesn't matter who you are or where you come from. Every single human being, however wretched or however great deserves the same amount of respect and that includes yourself too.
9) Work hard. There is nothing like hard work to get you out of a 'seemingly murky' situation.
10) State of mind: Your state of mind should be equanimous, especially when things are not going well for you. It removes the perception of negativity from the so called 'bad experiences'.
11) Meditate: Take time to meditate everyday, bring a sense of steadiness to your life.
The lessons I have learnt are both academic and personal in nature. The lessons learnt are as much about success in life as much about happiness in life. [Note the two are not necessarily correlated].
1) I came here with a great motivation. I wished to do a phd in 3 years, make a mark in the academic community, and ofcourse publish a lot of papers.
2) While I had the desire to work at the level required to attain the goal mentioned in the previous point, I didn't have the perseverance required to do the same. You got to be able to go everyday to the lab and plug in 8 hrs and hope that you get atleast 4 hrs worth of work done. This is something I had to learn the hard way. I was used to work in the bursts, and the bursts occuring as the deadlines approached closeby.
3) I had learnt that research is what you wish to do. Its not what your advisor directs you to do and you just execute the same. No, its more of a process of becoming an independent researcher, needing minimal guidance from your advisor. Its a process where you become more confident in your committment to work, perseverance, dedication to work and skills in time management. Yep, time-management would sum it all up. Drawing up 3-4 goals for the day and executing as many of them as possible is the way.
4) Your advisor is your biggest asset while you are in graduate school. Make sure you are in good, nay really good terms with the advisor, even if you don't think that's required. The academic community is a small world, my dear, and realationships matter here more than in the real world(read: jobs, personal life, etc).
5) When in doubt, be honest and when in doubt again, be nice to people. Being nice is the first thing people expect from you and its easier to get around with that attitude.
6) Honesty is the best policy is something I learnt while I was a kid in school. I am relearning the same through my experiences in life.
7) There are several aspects to our personality: The physical, intellectual, mental, psychological, emotional, etc. It is not good at all to neglect any one part of your personality. When you are hitting rock bottom, your way out is made easier if the aspects of your personality are well balanced. Infact, you wouldn't hit rock bottom unless there is an imbalance in your personality.
8) Be modest. It doesn't matter who you are or where you come from. Every single human being, however wretched or however great deserves the same amount of respect and that includes yourself too.
9) Work hard. There is nothing like hard work to get you out of a 'seemingly murky' situation.
10) State of mind: Your state of mind should be equanimous, especially when things are not going well for you. It removes the perception of negativity from the so called 'bad experiences'.
11) Meditate: Take time to meditate everyday, bring a sense of steadiness to your life.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
Dream - I: Arousal
I will try and record my dreams in this blog since it might help me review them later on.
Dreams for me, have been mostly in B&W, with a few notable exceptions lately - Colour and the one I remember vividly is greenery, green grass which seemed as real as in life. Dreams in my experience are mostly a projection of my frustrations and angst or things that have been occupying my mind during the time I have those dreams.
But of late, and in particular, yesterday, I had a dream that had an amazing climax..or just shy of a climax.
I was in my hostel at IITM in a friend's room and since I am in recollection mode right now, I hardly remember what I was doing there. But a while later I was down and that's where I noticed the surrounding greenery and I was pleased with the colour in the dream. Later on, I was among a group of people who were hanging around the hostel and doing some vague stuff.
Dreams are hard to recollect as you can see from my description. A girl who was with me accompanied me back to my friends room(why not my room? dreams have not much logic), but this time it was only me and this girl.
And wonders of wonders, she sported a bikini. I only got to look at her butt and her long slender legs, but that was enough to have me completely aroused in the dream and I was rushing to my friends room and I even remember asking her if she could indulge in some sex, and wierdly and ofcourse shockingly to me, she consented with a smile. I hurriedly tried unlocking the friends room and during those tense moments, I woke up excited and the arousal stayed with me for quite sometime.
Frequent dreams like these and I wouldn't mind sleeping often!
Dreams for me, have been mostly in B&W, with a few notable exceptions lately - Colour and the one I remember vividly is greenery, green grass which seemed as real as in life. Dreams in my experience are mostly a projection of my frustrations and angst or things that have been occupying my mind during the time I have those dreams.
But of late, and in particular, yesterday, I had a dream that had an amazing climax..or just shy of a climax.
I was in my hostel at IITM in a friend's room and since I am in recollection mode right now, I hardly remember what I was doing there. But a while later I was down and that's where I noticed the surrounding greenery and I was pleased with the colour in the dream. Later on, I was among a group of people who were hanging around the hostel and doing some vague stuff.
Dreams are hard to recollect as you can see from my description. A girl who was with me accompanied me back to my friends room(why not my room? dreams have not much logic), but this time it was only me and this girl.
And wonders of wonders, she sported a bikini. I only got to look at her butt and her long slender legs, but that was enough to have me completely aroused in the dream and I was rushing to my friends room and I even remember asking her if she could indulge in some sex, and wierdly and ofcourse shockingly to me, she consented with a smile. I hurriedly tried unlocking the friends room and during those tense moments, I woke up excited and the arousal stayed with me for quite sometime.
Frequent dreams like these and I wouldn't mind sleeping often!
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Equanimous state of mind - I
Let me ask you, what if a man were to attain a state of mind that is independent of external events. Even if the world is wallowing in the sorrow of say a famine or drought or earthquake, even if his own professional life were to be screwed up, even if his personal life were to be screwed up.. The man has the same state of mind, a state of mind that can be best described as equanimous.
Wouldn't the man be happy and peaceful, all the time?
Wouldn't the man be happy and peaceful, all the time?
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