Spiritual books inventory

I thought a post on the books I have read, am reading, wish to read would make up a good post. Also, in future posts, I would like to capture the essence of these books.
I will be continually modifying this blog as I read more and more books and I will also capture the essence of the books briefly below.

Books read:

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1) The Complete works of Swami Vivekanada - An astounding book covering the vedantic philosophy of monotheism and eternal reality. Also covers the four prinicple yogas - Karma, Jnana, Bhakti and Raja yoga in detail. Swami Vivekanada was a great spiritual leader and monk. His most famous quote is: "Arise, awake. Stop not till the goal is reached".

2) Conversations with God series (Neale Donald Walsch) which include several books: Book 1,2,3. Home with God. Communion with God. Friendship with God. Tomorrow's God. - A wonderful series.
Note, though this book is titled Conversations with God - this book is not affliated with any religion and it revolutionizes the idea of what a God is - God is more than a mere person - God is emptiness. God is the all in all. God is life and God is Change.

3) Soul stories by Gary Zukav - Simple life stories, but profound spiritual lessons - That's the essential theme of this book. The life stories are taken from the author's life but the author took the liberty to modify them as necessary.

4) Past lives, Future Growth by Armand Marcotte - See life through the eyes of an accomplished Psychic. I believe that we are all psychics. Many people cosider psychic powers to be otherworldly. But Psychic powers are something that can be as intrinisic as the power of sight, the power of speech or the power of hearing. It can basically be seen as a latent power.
The essence of this book is that many problems we face in life might be carried over from past lives. We live lives to understand who we are and basically remember who we are through life's various experiences. If we don't learn our lessons in one life, those lessons need to be learnt in subsequent lives.
The essential perspective is that life's trials and tribulations are lessons for us - lessons for developing our character, lessons to grow spiritually, lessons to realize who we truly are and what our true potential is. Some lessons not learnt in previous lives are therefore carried forth to subsequent lives and this is where Armand comes into the picture - He lets you know what is the lesson to be learnt from the trial you are undergoing. He is helped by his spirit guides as is described in the book.
A wonderful book - I suggest you read this book with an open mind and be open to the ideas in the book, which are more important.

5) Miscellaneous ebooks: There are many ebooks that I have read that gave me a good understanding of the essence of Hindu Philosophy. You can look for ebooks by Swami Sivananda, Vivekananda, Krishnananda. Hindu Philosophy and new-age spirituality have a lot in common.
Both agree on the oneness of life - the essence of all kinds of life forms - animals, humans, even inanimate objects such as rocks, pebbles, and mountains is the same. Interestingly, String theory in Physics also says that the fundamental unit of matter is "Energy"!!! These energy are represented through strings which vibrate at different rates. The different rates of vibrations totally decide the shape, density, colour and other characteristics of matter (objects) that we see around the world. What does this mean? Appearances can be deceptive. According to string theory, strings (Energy forms) are more fundamental than the elementary particles discovered by Quantum physics.
In this context of string theory and Quantum physics, I have a read called "Hyperspace" by Michio Kaku. I highly recommend this book for readers who are interested in the progress made by physics in the past few decades in the understanding of what matter is fundamentally made up of.

6) "Call" - I read this book at the udub book store today (June 5th 2008). It's a book that in very plain english explains how the author had his spiritual call. Everyone receives the call, only a few are aware of it, and fewer heed it. The book explores the type of calls one can receive and is a philosophical delight to read.

7) Songs of the soul - I read this book recently (June 2nd 2008). It's a basic but very foundational book in how one begins on the spiritual path.
The key concepts are forgiveness, unconditional love (this word is often the least understood word in our human experience), one-ness of beings. The all in all is verily the self. The self is verily unconditional love, total joy, and total freedom.
All these words are synonyms of the essence, the brahman, the atman, the tao, the chi, the prana, the father, the holy spirit, the jesus, the rama, the krishna, the GOD. In Art of living, I believe, there is an exercise where you say to the other person, "You belong to me". This is a practical expression of "We are all one".
Note, that this needn't be a metaphorical statement and it is not. The essence in everybody is the same, the energy that drives the universe is present in every sentient and non-sentient object and that energy is "who you really are".

8) Soul Traveler by Albert Taylor - Describes the experiences of Albert Taylor in astral travel. We are pure consciousness covered by layers of bodies - There is the physical body, the astral body, the causal body, and so on. Albert actually narrates through his experiences what it feels like to shed one body and assume another one.
Taylor highlights that although soul travel might seem like an extreme adventure, out of the world experience (literally), such experiences also come with a sense of responsibility.
Books in progress:

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1) Joy of living: A wonderfully simple book that touches on the various aspects of meditation from a Buddhist perspective. What are the common pitfalls that a beginner faces. Strategies to regularize the meditation practice. Fruits of meditation. Some results of scientific tests on the benefits of meditation.

2) The power is within you by Louise HaY: Louise Hay writes the book with utter simplicity so as to make the book easily comprehendable. Through various examples and true stories she relates the power of affirmations. The essence of this book is "What you believe, you become". But my personal perspective is that affirmations alone are not enough to attain equanimity and peace of mind. Though affirmations can be used to supplement a core spiritual practice that involves some kind of meditation. On second thoughts, I realize that prayer is also a form of meditation and affiramations can fall in that category.

3) Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi: A very powerful intellectual book that describes the conversations that the great being Sri Ramana Maharshi had with people who came to his Ashram during the early 1900's. Sri Ramana Maharshi is a proponent of 'Jnana Yoga'. The question "Who am I?" is fundamental to many of the conversations in the book. It takes a long time to go through the pages of the book since you can't just do a light reading. The recorded conversations make you think about your own identity during the process of reading.



Books to be read:

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1) The Tibetan book of the Dead.
2) The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.
3) New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.
4) A rigorous study of upanishads. There are many sources on the web to get
materials on the upanishads. The vedanta and upanishads form a core part of Hindu Philosophy, which by the way has little to do with the rituals of the Hindu Religion, atleast at the surface. The basis for the rituals could ofcourse be argued to be found in the philosophy.

Rocking motion during meditation - resources

During the past few months, I have meditated maybe 15 - 20 times. And during these 15 times, I have had 'involuntary' upper body rhythmic motions maybe 10 times. And believe me, I am not causing these motions. I tried to stop the motions, but they would begin again, involuntarily - So that told me that I was definitely not causing it.
Being curious as to what this "rocking motion" meant, I scoured the web for articles that explain the same. Most of the articles mention that this has something to do with the Kundalini Energy arising. Some say it's a natural thing that happens - The body makes some adjustments to the system during these motions - adjustments for the better.
Some say, it's about clearing energy pathways or chakras. So below I list a few articles that I think are relevant to this upper body involuntary movement stuff:

1) Kundalini Awakening
2) Spontaneous Movement
3) Odd rocking motion
4) Meditation
5) Raw foodie's story
6) Rocking?
7) Ecstatic Movement
8) Effects of meditation
9)More on tingling/crawling sensations

Here's what the book, 'Ask and it's given' by Esther and Jerry Hicks has to say about this(Pg 186):

"As you quiet your mind, you may feel a sense of physical detachment. For example,

you may feel no real difference between your toe and your nose. Sometimes you will feel the sensation of twitches and itches beneath your skin. And often, once you have released resistance and are soaring in your natural pure, high vibrations - you will feel an involuntary movement in your body. It may sway slightly from side to side or forward and backward, or your head may role gently from side to side. Any or all of these movements are indicators of your achievement of a state of meditation".

I think this upper body movement during meditation hardly affects my meditation. I am definitely intrigued by it, but keeping with the spirit of meditation, I just observe it as a phenomenon that's happening to me.

Chat on "Nothing Matters"

My gtalk status for the past few weeks has been "Nothing matters". Curious, my friend (AM) had a lot of questions to ask and that turned into a wonderful conversation that I would like to share with the world. Here's the unedited transcript of that chat:

AM: hey man
me: hey wasup
AM: hey u r in whch univ?
me: univ of washington
seattle
AM: oh
i think thats a very good app
from what i heard
me: yeah it is..
AM :)
me: but good app doesn't necessarily mean good research or good experiences :(
AM: hmm
how come
good experiences
hey tell me abt ur status message
nothing matters
whats the funda
me: Its based in philosophy
Nothing matters is - No matter what situation comes in your life, no matter how depressing it is, it doesn't really matter - Because the essence of you is not the ego but beyond that
Hence your ego might be affected by good or bad experiences, but the real 'you' is not.
AM: right
what u r remains the same
lol
:)
me: No what you are keeps changing - always, but what you are is beyond what you think you are
AM: hmm
how come that
u mean to say ppl are greater than what they think they are
me: Much much greater
AM: great as in qualities
or abilities
me: everything.. great in every aspect
AM: hmm..
but they underperform miserably
all the time
me: That's because of their belief that they are not good
anil.marthi: hmm
miserable people
i'm sick of them
me: No even you are one of them.. I am also one of them... Everyone has beliefs that constricts them.. Some have fewer such beliefs, some have many such constricting beliefs
AM: no man
i dont have any such constricting beliefs
im not saying that im great though
me: Well.. your last statement is a constricting belief
You believe you are not great
AM: hey i believe im great
but im not telling u that
:)
me: He he.. think about this.. there is always room for improvement... alwaus
AM: right
me: And the improvement comes from changing your beliefs.. Hence constricting beliefs always exist
AM: hehe
how true
me: yeah.. don't believe in whatever I say.. see if it is the case..
AM: but then if u start thinking that how great we are, then our ego will boost
and self esteem too
and it cant easily tower other's self esteem
me: You can't just say I am great - you can't trick your mind - You have to also show yourself that you are great - Then your belief will become stronger
AM: true
yeah
still even if u r great
if you keep thinking u r great
it wont augur well with other ppl
u ll start having problems with me
abt how they shd treat you and all
me: You won't say to others I am great.. You will say you are as great as I am
AM: hmm
me: Everyone is great.. they just don't realize that.. so boasting will not help... but if by example you show to others that anyone is and can become great.. everyone will appreciate that
AM: hmm yes
hold
but if u tell someone that
you are as great as i am
some just dont like that
like putting pseude and all
its not good
also
thiking that im great im great
me: Yes if they have a very strong belief that they are just about average.. So they don't like that because their constricting belief is strong.. In such cases, you should be very gentle in how you talk to them
AM: yes man
ppl will knw that they are good man
but still dont want to show it off
how abt that?
me: Why are you worried about showing off.. That shows that you are worried about what people think.. Which shows that you have a belief that your image is dependent on what others think... :D
AM: no no
not like that
im talking abt practical point of view man
not abt worry what they think abt me
i ve experienced this practically
it is always good to be very down to earth
and maintain a significant class in your manners and actions

me: My point is not that you go around saying that everyone is great.. My point is your "belief" should be that everyone is great and you use that belief to guide your actions...
AM: yea
me: Another thing philosophy says is life is a game.. It doesn't matter whether you win or lose a cricket match right.. That's why it doesn't matter what happens in life.. Nothing matters
anil.marthi: haha true
but u wont feel good with tears na
me: Who is getting tears?
AM: anyone
arising out of actions
me: Ok say you?
or me?
AM: me
me: Ok let's say you
Who is that you who is getting tears
AM: its me man
what ever the eternal self is thr, let it be
me: You the body, you the mind, you the brain, which you?
AM: but i can experience the pain of tears right
me: Your ego does...
When "you" identify with the "ego", "you" experience pain.. When "you - the real you" don't identify, you don't
AM: hmm true
still man.. u can expect people to separate ego from self all the time
that way there is no materialism
me: That's why people do meditation.. They want to stop the chattering of the "mind" or the "ego"..What happens, when the ego stops, "you" still exist
AM: im saying u cant*
me: Which means you are not the ego..
Yeah the point of philosophy is that materialism is not everything.. Materialism is ego gratification, but spiritualism is "real" gratification
AM: yeah
u r right
again we ll be back to ancient ages
we ll all become saints
no need of moeny
information technology
me: No we will be technological saints..
:D
AM: thats even worse
me: No it is not.. I am not saying you should avoid technology.. Technology makes life easier.. But also understand that technology is not everything.. That's why I believe in spiritual materialism.. You don't have to go to himalayas.. You can do your work, have money and still be peaceful..
AM: hmm
me: I think we have discussed a lot of stuff man.. Don't believe anything of what I said.. Believe in it if you find it true for yourself... I also follow the same policy.. If there is something I wish to believe in, I see if it applies practically atleast to some extent...
AM: true
my TL recently indicated indirectly that i think im great
:)
me: It doesn't matter.. What matters is what you think.. People may shit about you.. but what do you think..
AM: hmm
actually ny body language itself indicates that i have very self esteem or that i'm great
my*
me: Hmm.. good..
But it doesn't matter even if I have a low self-esteem.. Nothing matters!
AM: haha
me: Everything is energy.. that's why nothing matters
:D
AM: :)
me: Ok man... nice discussion.. got to go.. if you are interested in philosophy or spirituality, there are tons of good books.. you might find them useful
AM: sure

Expectation and its effects

The word 'expectation' is ubiquitous. The advisor has some expectations on the advisee.
The student has some expectations from the course she/he is taking. You might be expecting to land a job soon. The lover expects his lover to reciprocate his show of love. "We have high expectations of our employees", says the employer.
Let's say that you are expecting an important email. I have noticed many times, that when I expect an email, I sometimes don't get it, when I let go of that thought, and check my email, there it is sitting in the inbox, when I didn't expect it at all.

Expectation as far as I have come to realize is something that I can do without in life. Why? "Because it interferes with creation". We are creating every moment in our life. We are drawing our future landscape right here, right now through our thoughts, words, actions and our state of being. These four tools (thoughts, words, actions and beingness) are the tools of creation. What expectation does with this process is, it creates a sense of doubt in your creations. Why?
When you expect an email for instance, and you don't get it, there is an element of doubt that arises in your mind. Why is that person not sending an email. This 'doubt' is actually a 'thought' that interferes with your creation. Your creation is intended to bring you that email, but the expectation, which is just another thought, counteracts that creation unnecessarily because, well, thoughts are creative and hence expectation is also creative, only that the 'creation' of the expectation goes against your original creation because of the element of doubt.

Hence, it is always better not to have expectations on the behavior of any person or event in life. Then creations will always be as you intended, because, your intentions haven't been modified by the expectation.

Hence, masters, I believe, intend things and don't give a second thought to it. Because, they don't give a second thought, the first thought, which was their intention manifests without interference from successive thoughts (or expectations).

Meditation notes

I previously tried to set up a meditation routine by trying out a 30 day meditation experiment.
During this period, I was having difficulty centering my mind. I would also have frequent headaches, I would feel very sleepy during the meditations, etc. So I had to stop the experiment after a week.
Recently, what's happening is that I do meditations spontaneously. Whenever I feel calm and relaxed, I just sit down and let go, and usually after 15 minutes, I get a little restless and then I open my eyes.
It's a paradox that meditation is supposed to calm your mind but to meditate effectively you need a calm mind to begin with.
So what's helping me is to do shavasana before meditation. Shavasana or corpse posture in yoga is well known technique for completely relaxing the body. Once your body is relaxed, you can observe your mind easily during meditation.

Fear and its ramifications - My thoughts

Fear in my experience hasn't helped me at all. People who have used fear to manipulate me have given me the worst in life. I have come out of these experiences becoming fearless and with a new resolve to face fear boldly. The worst thing you can fear is death. I don't fear that - I don't fear anything. It's easy to make the previous statement but difficult to implement it in reality. You have to be clear in life - You are not going to live a fear-based life, your life is going to based on a lack of fear or better, love.
Fear is basically 'false evidence appearing real'. The false evidence is your wrong perception of what is true.

Notice instances of fear in your life - Fear of losing your love, fear of displeasing your boss, fear of being less competitive, fear of being less productive, fear of disease, fear of... The list goes on.

Stop right now and think for a moment how your life would change when in these situations you replace fear by fearlessness and courage. Think of the opportunities you are missing by cringing in fear. If you can't imagine how not fearing would help, try it out. Try courage and being bold the next time you face fear in some situation in life. Look fear eye to eye and it should vanish.

You might ask, all this is nice but what if I lose my job because I was fearless with my boss. Well, you lose your job, you find a new job where fear doesn't have a high place. Also if you are afraid of losing your job, you are still caught up in fear, you are still caught up in 'what-if' scenarios. Let go of fear, try it out in instances that may not have huge repercussions and then you can extend the confidence you gain from these situations in life to any situations.

Live without fear, live in the present, and enjoy life to the fullest, enjoy the uncertainity of life and you would truly have lived life.

Some spiritual attitudes

Some spiritual attitudes that I have experienced or read in books so far

1) Be honest: There is nothing like being honest as far as possible. It clear things up, clears up unwanted feelings, clears the road ahead and makes life easier. This is something I have learnt in grad life so far.

2) Respect: Everyone deserves respect. I used to judge people based on their academic achievements and skills when I came here. This attitude has caused me more trouble than anything else. Again, everyone deserves respect no matter their standing, no matter their behavior, no matter their situation.

3) Acceptance: I had a lot of pre-concieved notions of how my life should be. These things are not too bad, it's like having a plan. Only thing, plans can fail. And you got to accept the situation calmly and without resentment or hatred or other negative feelings when things don't go your way. Acceptance of the "here and now" is a very powerful tool, since it can liberate you from worries, from the past misgivings and from future uncertainities. This quality is something that I have grown to appreciate through my experiences in grad school.

4) Giving in your best a.k.a living life to the fullest:
There is a saying my parents and uncle would oft repeat: "When you eat, you eat. When you play, you play. When you work, you work".
The import here is that you giving in your "full mind" in whatever it is that you are currently doing or being. Don't worry about the future as you work over that report. Don't feel guilty for some past action when you are having your food.
This attitude as all other spiritual attitudes "makes life simple".

So doesn't matter how screwed up your life is, doesn't matter if you have been down the shit hole, doesn't matter if things can't get worser (by the way, they always can) - all you got to focus on is "now", "the now", "THE NOW". What are you doing now?
What are you being now?
What do you wish to do now?
Math analogy:
This is similar to the "memoryless property" of the exponential distribution which you encounter in probability.
Usually inter-arrival times of buses at bus-stops are assumed to follow an exponential distribution.
What this means is, it doesn't matter how long you have been waiting at the bus-stop, the probability that the next bus is going to arrive within 5 minutes is always the same!

So give in your best in whatever you do, give in your full mind to whatever task you are working on and that my friend, is "the way to live life to the fullest".

Work hard but do not have expectations on the results is another way of interpreting "acceptance". See my previous post on "Perfection" to know why we should accept the "here and now".
The previous post is basically a summary of the teachings in the "Conversation with God" books written by Neale Donald Walsch.

5)Relax
Is relaxation a spiritual attitude? Relaxation is a by-product of following the above four-attitudes. But if for some reason, you are stuck in life due to circumstance, then relax! There are powerful relaxation techniques available that calm you down from any possible situation you could imagine yourself in.This is a good webpage to know more about a relaxation technique.

My purpose of writing this blog is to truthfully record my spiritual learnings learnt from experiences and also from books so as to serve as a reference for me for the future and also to inspire the readers to get into the act of introspecting their lives and attitudes with the aim of spiritual growth.
A few books I recommend (and have read myself) to get started into spirituality:

1) Conversations with God series by Neale Donald Walsch - Includes Book 1, Book 2, Book 3, Friendship with God, Home with God, Communion with God, etc.

I have read other books in bits and pieces: Eckhart Tolle's "The power of Now", Gary Zukav's "Soul stories", etc.

This is a very revealing video that I came across thanks to Erin Pavalina.

Interpreting "Things are perfect as they are"

You must have heard of the saying oft repeated: "Things are perfect as they are. Situations are perfect as they are".

The basis for these statements is founded in spirituality and philosophy and I give two interpretations of the "perfect" statement:

1) Who am I?
The first interpretation is based on the definition of the self. Who is the real 'self'. New age spirituality and old age philosophy says that "you are verily the supreme spirit - The Tao, the Brahman, the Atman, The holy spirit, The father, The God, etc". According to this adage, you are no longer limited to the "Ego" or the self that we think we are. In that case, since you are unlimited in nature, the events or occurences in the real world have no bearing on your identity and hence you are "very ok" with any event or outcome that occurs. You are very ok with people's behaviors simply because you don't have any expectation on them and that is again because your sense of identity is independent of their behaviors: You are not insulted by them because 'you' are not 'you the ego', but you are 'you the infinite - you that cannot be tainted or insulted'.

2) Creation philosophy
The creation spirituality has that:
Creation occurs at three levels: Thought, word and deed. There is also another level, the level of being.
According to the creation philosophy, most of whatever we experience in life is due to our creating that experience through thoughts, words or actions.
Since we have created our experience beforehand, the experience should itself be perfect. If it is not perfect, then
we may have mistakenly intended or called forth another experience than we wished to.
Even in this case, since we are the creators of our experience, we can always "recreate" to create a new experience that we like or wish for.
But the problem with the creation argument is that the creation happens at three levels: sub-conscious or the unconscious, conscious and the super-conscious levels.
And people are not usually aware of what they are creating at the super-conscious level or the sub-conscious level. So they create at the conscious level and they assume that things will turn out the way they should. They do except when they conflict with what they are creating at the super-conscious level.

So in both the cases discussed above, things are indeed perfect as they are and as we experience them. In the second case, we may not be aware that we are creating at the super-conscious level. In the first case, we are not aware that we are the "supreme spirit".
But "believing" in the philosophy of "Thou art God" or "We are creative beings" and understanding what that means is sufficient for us to "act as if" things are perfect.

These philosophies give us a basis and act as an incentive for us to practice "perfection" or the adage that "Experiences, events, people's behaviors" are perfect as they are.

When you know that things are perfect, you don't have expectations on the result and hence the saying: "Work towards your goal but do not expect the results to turn out as you expect. That is to say don't have expectations".
When you don't have expectations in life, you "accept" with joy and love and peace, what you get. Isn't this a beautiful way of living life? Indeed this way of living life is a path to mastery - mastery of the self and experiencing who you really are (refer to 1)).

30 day Meditation experiment day 9

2/6/2008

During weekdays, especially when I have classes in the morning like today, its difficult to plan for meditation in the morning. For me mornings are like, I wake up half hour before I catch my bus and have just enough time to shower and brush.
I have 1hr pockets of free time spread out during the day.So today I was flexible about where I meditate. I headed out to the library, found a nice secluded spot and meditated while sitting on the chair.

Duration: I timed my stop watch for 30 minutes, but I felt intensely sleepy after 15 minutes. So I had to cut short my meditation at that point.

Sleep: I managed 5.5 hrs of continuous sleep yesterday with a total duration of 8 hrs (I woke up and slept again).

Miscellaneous:I should mention that I am using a very powerful relaxation technique before I go to sleep every night. It's based on a yoga-asana called "shavasana" or corpse posture.
As can be inferred from the name, in this technique the body becomes completely limp like a corpse and you feel very relaxed since most of the muscles are relaxed.
Note that in shavasana, you can be much more relaxed than when you sleep because in sleep the body changes position quite often leaving pockets of tension in the body at any given time, while in shavasana, you consciously ensure that you have relaxed every or almost every part of your body. Also, there is a total lack of noticeable movement in the body (except for maybe the blinking of the eye) while you are into shavasana.

You can know more about this relaxation technique here. Trust me, it's easy to do and gives you a deep sense of relaxation. Ideally done half-hour before you go to sleep or when you need to take a stress-release break.

30 day Meditation experiment day 8

2/5/2008

Duration: 5 minutes. Basically I was tired at the end of the day and hence fell really sleepy after 5 minutes into the meditation. So I had to shift from a lotus position to lying down on the floor till I was refreshed again.
It seems like the best time to have an enjoyable meditation session is right after I wake up or sometime in the morning.

30 day Meditation experiment day 7

2/4/2008

Today's session was like a long run. Long run in distance running is a training run where you run longer than usual but take it easy on the pace. (Ofcourse there's no real equivalent to pace in meditation. A close equivalent would be slowing down of the sense of time and being in the now. ;))

Duration: I set my stopwatch for 29 minutes. But after it beeped, I felt like going for another 15 minutes. Only problem was that my right leg was becoming numb in the half-lotus position I was sitting in.
I continued for another 8 minutes before I thought I was done for today.

The first 15 minutes or so, I was trying to come to terms with a few things and hence I wasn't exactly slowing down my mind. But in the latter half, my mind settled down and it was kind of peaceful till the end.

I really am looking forward to my meditation sessions these days. Partly because I find that my meditation sessions are getting better in quality and also because I have come so far (7 days) without a break. If there is one thing I have had a problem with in life, it's consistency. Consistency in work or hobbies (running), etc. But 7 days equals a week and that's good unless it's not(this idiom is borrowed from one of the many books by Neale Donald Walsch titled "Conversations with God" - A really interesting, intellectual and practical book series, but this would be for another blog post).

Meanwhile, I came across a nice blog that guides you in a very intuitive, straightforward and pedagogical way onto what meditation means, its significance and its practice and benefits.

30 day Meditation experiment day 6

2/3/2008

Summary: I didn't have a great meditative experience today.

Duration: I did meditation for 22 minutes after bath following suit on yesterday's meditation.

The first 10 minutes felt decent, I mean there were a few thoughts doing the rounds in my mind but it was as peaceful as yesterday. My upper body started rocking back and forth like yesterday but it wasn't as intense and frequent as yesterday. The last 10 minutes of the meditation, my thoughts were going places. So I decided to cut short the meditation at around 22 minutes though I had timed my stopwatch for 25 minutes.
Everyday brings a different meditative experience like life.

I did the meditation in the morning. In the evening, I went out for a 1 mile run that lasted 8.5 minutes. I have to see how these two practices (running and meditation) can be kept up simultaneously and regulary. Regular is a key word here, since any practice would be most beneficial when done in regular intervals.

Diet
I had bread and jam for breakfast, fruits and cookies for lunch!, and some mixed vegetable rice (spicy(note - spicy doesn't necessarily mean hot, some of you Americans have got it all wrong) and tasty food) for dinner. I would probably have some cereals for supper. I guess I have to improve on my diet, especially the breakfast.

Sleep: Yesterday I managed 3 hrs of continuous sleep and then I woke up every 1.5 hrs till I got up after 8 hrs of sleep. Sleeping has been a problem for me since the last 2 months and that's one thing that should change with this experiment.

30 day Meditation experiment day 5

2/2/2008

Interesting experience: If yesterday and day-before-yesterday, I experienced waves of sleep hitting me, today it was waves of upper body movement during meditation!!!

Deatiled report: I began meditating right after having a bath in the morning, i.e. between 1:05 pm and 1:27pm. Today was a much better experience in terms of mental peace than the last 4 days. That is not to say that I would expect it to be the same or better for the rest of this trial. I have stated this before, I state it again: "It is important not to have any expectations on your meditation. Receive humbly whatever you get.". I didn't feel any kind of sleepiness during the meditation today. Infact, I felt very relaxed, alive and peaceful and it felt good that I smiled as I meditated.
Posture: I was in the lotus posture with my hands in "Chin Mudra (index finger touching the tip of the thumb and other fingers straight)".

During the last few minutes of the meditation, my upper body and head started rocking gently back and forth. The rocking motion was involuntary and I wasn't contributing anything to it. The rocking motion subsided for a minute but increased in frequency during the last few minutes. Infact, it was reaching its peak as my stop-watch started beeping (I set the alarm for 23 minutes after I began meditating).
Even after I opened my eyes, my upper body was still rocking back and forth a bit.
I banished all fear of this strange experience and would have continued with the meditation if not for the stop watch!
Other points: I began the meditation with a prayer and terminated it with a prayer. The prayer is to the universal spirit for a smooth meditation experience and for the peace of the world.

30 day Meditation experiment day 4

2/1/2008

Today I came across a few excellent articles on meditation. It's a great pleasure to know that there are articles that address the difficulties I am facing during meditation - feeling sleepy halfway, mind not calming down, etc.
Anyway, here are the articles: Meditation FAQ,
Meditation II

Today's Time: 6:20 pm - 6:40 pm

I felt sleepy after 10 minutes. Waves of sleep hit me as I meditated. Imagine, waves at a beach hitting your legs as you stand in the sand. It disturbs your stability right, it literally rocks your frame. That's what happens when the waves of sleep hit me. I just rock back and forth in the action of resisting sleep. During the 20 minutes on the whole, the mental activity slowed down a bit, but not too much. It's important not to have expectations during meditation because
expectations ----> Thoughts related to the expectation --------> Increased mental activity.

After meditation, I did some Pranayama (Anuloma/viloma - Breathing in and out) and then got up. This seems similar to warming down/cooling down after running (I am a runner remember, so running analogies r there).

After I got up from my half-lotus posture to sit on my desk, I suddenly noticed that my back was straighter than before and it felt good. So here's an immediate benefit:
Meditation sets your posture right while sitting in a chair.

I am signing off here today and looking forward to tomorrow's meditation.

30 day Meditation experiment day 3

1/31/2008

Today I meditated from 8:00 to 8:10 pm. I had to catch a bus to go the department in 10 minutes so I cut the meditation short. I wasn't having the waves of sleepiness I had yesterday, but I felt rested during the last 5 minutes. It's too early to decide the effects of meditation at this stage.
I am a beginner in meditation but I have had tried unsuccessfully to establish a meditation routine before.
This is the main reason why I am blogging my meditation experience: So that I keep up my practice under the public eye :D

Let's see how tomorrow goes. Btw, I am also a runner, I haven't run in a week, so I have to see if I can run this weekend. I don't think running will take time away from meditation as I can always meditate before I wish to sleep and generally that will make me sleepier and hence I can easily fall asleep.

30 day Meditation experiment day 2

Date: 1/30/2008

Method: Today I was too impatient with the auto-suggestive relaxation technique and went ahead with observation meditation at 5:30 pm. Five minutes in, I was feeling very very sleepy, it was like every 15 seconds a wave of sleep was hitting me. After a minute of the sleep waves, I just laid down on the ground. I relaxed deeply and observed my mind and the thoughts for about 20 minutes (its easier to lie down and meditate than sit down and meditate since sitting down you got to keep your position erect). It felt good at the end and strangely I didn't catch any sleep though I felt very passive and sedentary.

Sleep: Yesterday I slept for 6.5 hrs though I intended to sleep only for 5 hrs since I had an assignment due today. The quality of sleep wasn't any different - Many dreams in the sleep.
I generally sleep between 1 am to 8 am.

Diet: I have been on the same diet for the past two weeks: Bread and jam morning, veggie delite sub from subway for lunch, a litre of juice in the evening with some bananas and cereals/chappatis during the night.

30 day Meditation experiment day 1

Date: 1/29/2008

Today is the first day of meditation.

Method: I did auto-suggestive relaxation of my body to quieten my body and consequently the mind. Having done that I observed my thoughts silently for around 5 minutes.

9:06pm - 9:16pm (10 minutes) - Autosuggestive relaxation
9:16pm - 9:22pm (6 minutes) - Observation meditation.

Noticeable effects: Well today is the first day, so nothing to document yet.
But I did feel much more relaxed midway through the auto-suggestive relaxation. But after that, the mental activity was the same through the end of the meditation period.

30 day Meditation experiment

In this blog series, I will document the effects (mostly qualitative) of a meditation experiment on my physical and mental well-being. I will also document the duration and quality of sleep on each day.

The meditation technique I am using consists of two parts:

a) Auto-suggestive relaxation : This is a relaxation technique where one relaxes every organ of the body by mentally focusing on the organs of the body and relaxing them. One needs to try this technique out to understand how it works.
b) Observation meditation: In this meditation, no mantra is used, actually nothing needs to be done. All I do is observe my thoughts non-judgementally and accept them irrespective of how good or bad they seem. I also don't participate with the thoughts. I just act as external observer.

Posture: I usually sit in padmasana (lotus posture) with spine erect. I sit on the ground on top of a folded sleeping bag.

Duration: For this experiment I will start with a duration of around 15 minutes and go upto 30 - 45 minutes by the end of 30 days. The duration for most part on any given day would depend on how long I am comfortable with the meditation. This duration, I have noticed, increases as one meditates regularly.

Time: I am a graduate student with loaded course work, so right now I am flexible with when I meditate. But if possible, I would like to do it at a particular time during the day, preferrably after waking up in the morning.


Miscellaneous:
I am also a runner, so that is already a beneficial thing as far as physical/mental well-being is concerned. Ideally, meditation effects are studied by having a placebo group and a treatment group with similar characterisitcs. In this case, the sample size is 1, that is me!!

Diet: I am a vegetarian and include a lot of fruits, vegetables and bread in my diet.

Last but not the least,

Why Meditation?
For me life in the recent 1.5 years has been a total roller coaster. As mentioned in my 'about me', I am a Phd student in Transportation Engineering and I came to the US in 2006 with great expectations (not the book :D). I was really into research the last 6 months before coming here and I expected my research in a US university to match up equally to what I had done in India. Sadly, my expectations were dashed since I landed an inexperienced advisor with whom I didn't have great relations from the beginning. I was bossed around ocassionally and didn't like it (ofcourse the university is a really great resource in terms of books and people, just that having an amicable relationship with your advisor goes a long way towards productive research). Unfortunately I didn't think rationally about my other options. During this ensuing period which has lasted 1 year, I have had a lot of depressive periods and lots of experiences, so much so that I am no longer the person I was 1.5 years back. Back then I had a lot of expectations of the world, but now I am learning and possibly relearning the truth, "Having no expectations on people's behavior or life in general" would lead to very enjoyable or atleast more peaceful life. There's another truth that I am comprehending currently, "Nothing matters". That's right. The second truth follows from the first truth. When you have no expectations on people or events, you are ready to accept whatever life brings you, and hence nothing matters.

All this history is great you say, but why meditation specifically? Well, I have
learnt meditation in India during a spiritual workshop not unlike the many workshops that happen in US on a regular basis. The workshop was expensive but it gave me many important relaxation and spiritual exploration tools: a) Pranayama (breathing techniques) b) Different meditation techniques.
I am using one of these meditative techniques in my meditation experiment.
And these meditation techniques are purported to bring about a much needed balance to people(I am one of those people) who take a lot of stress. And I am not just stating this as an axiom, that's one of the purposes of this blog series isn't it: To answer the following questions:

a)Do these meditation techniques actually enhance the quality of life (we are not talking about material riches here although that could be considered a side-effect or side-benefit) - physically, intellectually, mentally and spiritually? Now what do we mean by spiritually here - Spirituality has to do with discovering one's true self and it is said that becoming more spiritual is consistent with an enhanced quality of life - an equanimous state of mind or reduction in mental noise, which is a product of the wandering and untamed mind, clarity in thinking and decision making, etc - You can put all the benefits of personal development into this category.
b) What experiences come about through meditation(Read here to know about my upper body movement experience during meditation) ?
c) How does the quality of sleep change with meditation? The last 2 months I haven't had a single night were I could say I slept deeply and soundly. Hopefully, this should change through this experiment.
d) How do the different meditation techniques compare with each other in their effectiveness? The current meditation technique I am using for the experiment is the "Observation Meditation Technique" described above.
Other meditation techniques I learnt at the workshop in India are:

Gap meditation:
In this technique one observes the gaps between thoughts and tries to increase the gap. So if I observe that on an average a thought pings my mind every second, I try to reduce this frequency or in other words, I increase the duration of the gap between thoughts and in effect aim towards a mental state with very few thoughts.

Ana pana sathi or observing your breath
This meditation technique is very popular among beginners in meditation. All one has to do in this technique is to observe the movement of breath. As the air moves in and out of your nostrils, you observe its flow and forget about the mind and its wanderings for the time being. The theory here is that, every state of mind has a corresponding state of breath. For instance: When you are angry or frustrated, notice your breath; you would be breathing in short, quick bursts. On the other hand, when you are really relaxed and peaceful, you would be breathing in deep and slow.

So I guess I have given enough background into the significance of this experiment atleast for myself (and hopefully for you guys too); now with the grace of the supreme being(Brahman, Tao, chi, or any personal diety) I hope this experiment turns out to be a personal success and of benefit to the readers of this blog.

First impressions - "Spontaneous healing"

First impressions hereon will be a blog that would give my first impressions on any book I am reading/have read.

I came across the book "Spontaneous Healing" at Twice sold Tales, a second hand bookshop in Seattle. The first three chapters were gripping and discussed the importance of belief and faith in healing.
The book describes the author's journey for alternative medicinal practices that serve to treat the root cause of a disease rather than the sometimes superficial symptoms shown by a patient.
A wonderful account of the healings through "Osteopathy" is described. The medicinal benefits of herbal plants such as Gingko Bilaba and Bloody root are also given through many testimonials. The author mentions that testimonials are usually dismissed by the so-called modern allopathists because endorsing them could get them into trouble. But the author takes pains to explain that his exploration of the truth behind these testimonials have helped many of his patients (For instance, Bloody root being very helpful for benign/malignant moles that develop on skins).
Most of the case-studies presented are spontaneous remissions in cancer affected patients. This is something also discussed by Deepak Chopra in his book "Quantum Healing". Review of this book in a later blog.
The theme in both these books is that there are many cancer cases that are dismissed by doctors as untreatable, that is the cancer has become so deep-rooted in the organs of the patient's body that nothing short of a miracle can heal the patient. The books go onto say that when these miracles do happen, doctors dismiss them as rare cases. The two books emphasize that these so-called miraculous cases need to be investigated thoroughly because modern allopathic medicine fails to include one important component that is the basis of many alternative medicinal systems - Faith and belief of the patient in a cure and the body's ability to heal itself.

Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi

I read this book partially back in college. Heavy with philosophy but great with insights.
Got this book again now. Gonna read it over the next 3-4 months and see how the experience is.